Letters From A Better Me author Rachael Wolff has written a new blog post on how she has educated herself on narcissistic behavior.
I’m grateful for my education on narcissistic abuse. I never thought my experience going through and then learning about narcissistic abuse would be so important. I never realized how many people have unhealed trauma from abuse that they have normalized, which unfortunately allows them to excuse abusers and even become a part of their gaslighting of others. What I realized is that it is not just important to spot narcissist abuse, but to educate myself on it. That way I can spot warning signs, victims, and perpetrators. I can clearly see how they are using tactics to abuse, manipulate, and attempt to control others and myself.
I’ve seen the effects of narcissistic abuse in families, romantic relationships, careers, politics, religious leaders, CEOs, etc. Narcissistic abusers can be anywhere and everywhere. This is why it is SO important to be educated and heal the parts of us that were once exposed to their abusive ways. I’ve written a lot about narcissistic abuse on this blog.
Here’s what I find fascinating about narcissistic abuse, it has been a hot topic for years now. We can read article after article, but when it is right in front of us, and someone is trying to manipulate us, it can be much harder to see. It really does take being vigilant and staying aligned with love, abundance, and peace in order not to be used, manipulated, or abused by a narcissist.
One of the most important protections I’ve learned in my ten years of exploration is the importance of staying away from negatively attacking or blaming others. We become prey to narcissists when we buy into conspiracy theories, blaming, and shaming others. I learned how important it is to fully think out what people put out there. I think about whether a person has a negative agenda or needs me not to trust something in order for me to believe them. Once I started reading about narcissistic abuse, I realized how similar their tactics are. It was a little scary seeing someone else write the exact same words as someone had used on me—MULTIPLE times an in MULTIPLE different ways.
I actually just finished reading a memoir that was full of similar situations. I have friends who have mothers, fathers, and bosses who are narcissists. They experience the same things. One of the reasons I wrote, Letters from a Better Me was to help people spot how we let ourselves be manipulated by outside sources if we aren’t aligning our own energy. If we self-abuse, we are are prey for narcissistic abusers. This is one of the reasons I dedicated myself to the work I do now. I not only didn’t want to be a victim again, but I wanted to help others heal so that they weren’t used, abused, or manipulated by any form of abuser, but I also know I can’t do the work for them to heal. I can only bring awareness and accessibility to a different way of living.
The energy of fear, lack, and separation is an open door for abusers to walk through. Whether we are treating ourselves or others from a place of fear, lack, and separation isn’t important to them. If they know we are there, which they do, we are prey. My education on narcissist abuse helps me to stay alert and aware, while making conscious choices to empower myself to serve humanity and myself from a loving place.
Today, I commit to keep educating myself on narcissistic abuse tactics. Being aware of abuse tactics isn’t always easy. I’m not going to say that watching people get used and manipulated enough to dehumanize others isn’t heartbreaking. I’ve shed many tears and prayed endlessly. For me, I know who the abuser is. I know that they are who they are. Part of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is that they are not capable of taking personal responsibility. They are always the victim. Everyone is against them, and they will turn on anyone they feel has betrayed them in an instant. No facts required. Often, they believe their own lies, which is why they can be so convincing to others. I know this about them, so I don’t have any expectations for them to change or be any different from who they are. I pray for them, I know they are here for a reason, because I do believe in God contracts. I believe they are humanities eye-openers and teachers for how we are treating ourselves and others. We can see how far our fears will take us when we align with the energy of their abusive ways. They also help to strengthen leaders who come from a compassionate and loving place. I learned so much from the narcissistic abuser in my life. I’m grateful for the many lessons I was taught to take better care of myself and my energy. One of the BIGGEST lessons I learned was about seeing, spotting, and healing my self-abusive ways. That is what completely shut the door the that person’s power over my life.
My education helps me to not accept unacceptable behavior in my own life. It helps me not get sucked into being manipulated on social media and in personal relationships. We can’t change anyone but ourselves. We can’t change anyone else’s thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors. People make choices for themselves. That’s free will. If people want to change, they will. If they don’t want to change, they won’t. Change isn’t easy, but education can help to make change feel more possible. When we put our education into practice, we empower ourselves to live the lives we WANT to be living. For me, that is why it’s important to keep educating myself on narcissistic abuse tactics, because it helps me wisely invest in my own self care and change things I need to change. I’m not going to stop the narcissistic abusers of the world, but I will make sure my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace so that I don’t contribute to their power.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2020
How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World
THE EMPOWERED WOMAN follows the belief system that is best explained in a quote by Byron Katie: “The most attractive thing about the Buddha was that he saved one person: himself. That’s all he needed to save; when he saved himself, he saved the whole world.”
The letters work in different ways depending on the chapter and part of the book.