Joan Price, author of Sex After Grief, has shared a new guest blog post written by Stella Fosse on “The Joy of Writing About Older Sex”, read it here.
The Joy of Writing about Older Sex (Old Age Sex), guest post by Stella Fosse
Many assume that erotic writers are young people who write about young characters, but more and more people over 60 are discovering the joy of erotic writing and “old age sex”.
Why? When we write sexy stories, we recapture peak moments in our lives. We can conjure all kinds of sensory details that make the story vivid. Or we can imagine an encounter we never had and bring it to life as a fictional story. We realize our desires in a safe space. Anything is possible on the page!
Erotic writing reminds us that we are sexy at every age. As we play with words, we push back on social assumptions about older people and sex. The very act of creating a story is sexy.
Reading erotica created by others our age is also fun, and a great inspiration. Some examples I love:
- Dorothy Freed published her sexual memoir, Perfect Strangers, at age 75.
- Joan Price edited a collection called Ageless Erotica, featuring writers Dorothy’s age and older.
- Free Fall by Rae Padilla Francoeur is a fabulously well written erotic memoir with an older heroine.
You’ll find more examples on my website, www.stellafosse.com. These books are enjoyable, and you can even use favorite sentences from their stories as writing prompts for yours.
If you experiment with erotic writing — and please do! — it is important to keep a playful and relaxed attitude about what you write. Even for longtime authors, first drafts are just a place to try things out. So pat yourself on the back for being brave, and write without judging.
Now let’s give it a try!
Recall an especially sexy experience in your life. It could have happened yesterday or twenty years ago. Remember it with all your senses:
- What was the other person’s aroma?
- How did it feel to touch them and for them to touch you?
- What did you say to one another, and what other sounds did you make?
- What did you especially love about the other person’s appearance?
- What about the circumstances: What was going on in your lives that made this moment memorable?
On your first writing day, take just ten minutes and begin to write what you remember. If some aspect of the experience eludes you, feel free to make it up as you go.
The next day, write for ten more minutes about that experience. If you keep writing for ten minutes each day, soon you will have a complete draft of an erotic story that you can look back upon and savor.
I hope you will try writing erotica, and that it brings you much joy.
Sex After Grief
Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved (Healing After Loss, Grief Gift, Bereavement Gift, Senior Sex)
An Honest Approach to Hard Questions: Sex is complicated at the best of times—but when we’re overcome by grief, it’s especially mysterious and confusing. How do we nurture ourselves as sexual beings when we’re grieving the death of a partner? Why does taking care of ourselves sexually matter at a time when we’d rather hide under the covers and wail? How do we know when it’s time to open ourselves to the sexual phase of a new relationship? And how do we do it?