Joan Price (author of Sex after Grief) comments on why many people wrongly believe that sex after 50 is dangerous or impossible even.
A new campaign has been launched to celebrate sex for people over 50, while also tackling some of the harmful myths about intimacy in later life.
In a new video series organized by We-Vibe for National Orgasm Day, seven seniors candidly discuss their own sexuality and how to have good sex to educate the public on the misconceptions about seniors in the bedroom. As well as sharing their experience of sex after menopause, the group offered their thoughts on sexual desire and function in later life.
“We can’t talk about older people’s lust and preferences without talking with them,” explains Johanna Rief, Head of Sexual Empowerment at We-Vibe. “Love and lust don’t retire and we want our videos to encourage people to talk about it and find new ways to experience their sexuality without shame.”
The adult toy manufacturer kicked the session off by presenting participants with the myth ‘Old people don’t have sex’—an assumption that was met by some pretty strong reactions.
“That’s nonsense, of course we do,” said Rory, 76.
Peter, 73, agreed, adding that being that bit older is actually an advantage to your sex life. “You’ve learned how to have good sex by the time you get to your seventies, why would you give that up?”
“Sex is our birthright, lifelong,” explained Joan Price, an author and advocate for ageless sexuality.
The next myth on the chopping block was that sex can be dangerous in later life—a notion that has never been scientifically proven. In fact, a 2019 study found that lack of sexual activity after 50 has been correlated with an increased risk of health problems like cancer and coronary heart disease. As long as the necessary protection is being used and all parties consent, there’s no reason for older people to refrain from sex.
Another common myth discussed was the idea that sexual desire drops off after menopause. While the decline of estrogen can lower libido, it shouldn’t mark the end of your sex drive. In fact, some women have reported that their sex lives improved after menopause, now that they were free of its uncomfortable symptoms. Research has shown that 14.5% of women feel menopause is affecting their sex lives, with many attributing vaginal dryness and pain to their decreased interest.
“It would slow down if I let it, but I don’t want it to slow down particularly,” said Sue, 69. “It depends on who you’re with, and how you feel about the person you’re with. If you were in your twenties and you were with someone you weren’t comfortable with, it would slow down then, I reckon.”
“If you just get started physiologically the libido will kick in, the desire will kick in,” explained Joan. For those of you looking for some tricks to reawaken that impulse, these unexpected erogenous zones will help spice up your sex life.
The widespread belief that sexual function decreases with age was also discussed by the group.
Rory was quick to bust this myth, revealing he’s delighted that he has “never had to take Viagra.”
While sex may not look the exact same as it did during one’s twenties and thirties, it can still be extremely pleasurable and rewarding. As with individuals and couples of any age, experimentation is key to finding what works for you. If you need a little guidance, check out our round-up of the best sex positions.
Sex After Grief
Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved (Healing After Loss, Grief Gift, Bereavement Gift, Senior Sex)
An Honest Approach to Hard Questions: Sex is complicated at the best of times—but when we’re overcome by grief, it’s especially mysterious and confusing. How do we nurture ourselves as sexual beings when we’re grieving the death of a partner? Why does taking care of ourselves sexually matter at a time when we’d rather hide under the covers and wail? How do we know when it’s time to open ourselves to the sexual phase of a new relationship? And how do we do it?